How to Survive the Loss of a Love

In it you will find short, one page chapters chock full of important reminders, proverbs, advice and practical suggestions. Throughout the message is constant - let yourself hurt, take responsibility for your own pain and your own healing, you will survive, you will smile again, life really is worth living.

Accompanying every chapter is a short, one page, free verse poem. Nothing has ever helped me feel more than these did.

I read most of this book while sitting in a city park one sunny, Sunday afternoon. All around me were families playing with their children. Inside I was bleeding, and frequently crying. It took at least two more years to get over being dumped, but my healing started that day. Maybe your's will, too.


This one really does help   September 13, 2006
j michael rowland (Watertown, Tennessee, USA)
44 out of 44 found this review helpful

I've ploughed through a spate of self-help books on this topic lately, and have written some scathing reviews; because all of them appeared to have their own agendas, and none of them seemed to help.

Until I found this one.

This book described to me EXACTLY what I was going through. It did not seek to reframe the experience within the author's religious views. It did not seek to impose a decision or a philosophy on me. It did not try to get me to DO anything. It simply described exactly what was happening, and it did it in a way that made it okay for me to feel the way I was feeling.

The book is formatted in pairs of facing pages. On the lefthand page is straightforward prose; on the righthand pages (with a few exceptions) are short, original poems. This presentation I found extremely powerful. The poems connect in a way that the prose can't; and the prose lends strength and validity and concrete information to the fellings expressed in the poetry. The combined effect is one of knowledge and empathy.

In other words, reading this book is like sitting down and talking with a wise, kind friend.

The writing style is sparse yet complete. It would pass any test that E.B. White could put to it. It is, in itself, enjoyable.

Reading the above, I find that my description is inadequate. If you are going through the loss of a loved one, or, in fact, any kind of a loss at all, this book will give you comfort... it will put things in perspective for you, without demeaning or trivializing your feelings, and it will leave you in a place from which you can move on.

j michael rowland


A True Lifesaver   May 4, 1999
36 out of 36 found this review helpful

After a sudden and devastating breakup, this book was a God-send. I read it nearly every day for months. The authors provide very practical advice, and reassure the reader that his/her chaotic emotions are a natural part of the grieving (and healing) process. "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" is an essential purchase for anyone grieving a breakup or divorce.


The perfect book to help you through...   October 9, 2000
20 out of 20 found this review helpful

This book is especially helpful if you're experiencing a painful situation (death, divorce, any type of loss), when every moment feels like an eternity, and you need someone/something to turn to. You can read it from beginning to end (it walks you through various stages of healing, from loss/despair to forgiveness/hope), or you can skip around to sections that are meaningful in a particular moment. Written by 2 counselors and a poet, it contains a perfect blend of practical, healing advice and soothing words/affirmations. Recommended for all readers--any gender, any age--even for those who would never open a self-help-type book. It's the kind of book you can refer back to. It's also makes a perfect gift for a friend or family member in need. (If you're thinking of sending this as a gift from far away, and you haven't had a chance to see the book, you can trust that it will be well-received by your friend/loved one.)


Succeeds in its goals   October 26, 2002
Shannon Gaw (Roswell, GA USA)
36 out of 40 found this review helpful

"How to Survive the Loss of a Love" is a nice, little, easy-to-read book consisting of 200 pages of tidbits that attempt to quell, numb, or assuage pain. Each page is only half-full of double-spaced text providing a self-contained message, and the facing page contains tidbits of poetry or anonymous biting comments, making the book a quick read and easy to pick up and start at any page.

These pages provide encouragement, sympathy, and warmth. If suffering from major loss or betrayal, advice like "hug yourself ... it feels good" and "be gentle with yourself" may seem patronizing; however, the book will still provide some solace, even if it's the stoic "there is nothing to be done.... Only accept it, and hurt." While those words do not cuddle the aching heart, they do provide sobering realism: life is tough and people can be cruel. For what it tries to be, this book succeeds.